cornerofmadness

When I said I wanted a little rain to break the heat, i did NOT mean that About quarter to four I was startled out of bed by a lightning show that was absolutely impressive. Most of it was aerial lightning but it was also non-stop. I ran around unplugging everything especially since the power kept flickering off and on.

Then the rain started. It was coming down so hard and fast all I could think was here comes those flood waters (luckily not) and there goes my garden (also, luckily not). I watched it for a while (because lightning is SO DAMN COOL, love it) before crawling back into bed. The lightning and hard rain lasted for at least an hour before I finally drifted back off..

My porch is about seven feet deep and there's puddles all the way up to my door it rained so hard.

And apropos of nothing, last night I opened some of the cheeses bought at Fancypants Kroger, one was a white stilton with blueberries (delicious) and the other was some french thing (naturally I cut right thru the name...) I smelled it just before I popped it into my mouth and nearly gagged. Spat it out. It smelled like fungusy feet. Trust me. I'm a podiatrist. I KNOW what foot fungus smells like intimately. It was like sucking on a patient's big toe. Thank god this wasn't one of those 11$/lb cheeses. I've never tasted anything so gross in my life. I could still smell it on my fingers hours later in spite of several washings and wiping it on the cat.

I got the rest of the garden in, contemplated and dismissed doing dishes and headed instead into a nice cool tub to read aftering opening all the windows since the rain really cooled things down to a normal temperature.

I'm not in the tub two minutes when I hear a knock. Oh crap. More knocking. Damn, it has to be Landlord with my toilet seat. It's 8:30 in the evening but it's still light out so it's fair game I guess. I really need that toilet seat replaced before I kill myself on the completely sheered off one so I slither out of the tub, knock off most of the bubbles and pull on my clothes.

Only to realize panties and shorts are on backwards. Ah, who can tell. I run for the door and catch my pocket of backwards shorts on the jamb. RIIIIIIIP. Oh shit. There go my favorite black shorts. Holding them together I fling open the door and there's Landlord with toilet seat and Coco the barky chihuahua whom I loathe (it's a chihuahua).

He goes in to try and fix it. I'm standing there with my underpants showing through the new ventilated backside of my shorts. He looks at the toilet and says, 'huh thought it was bone.'

No, white. I look at the toilet seat and say, that's the same size I bought. It's too big.

'Toilet seats are standard.' LL replies

Yeah that's what I thought too (keeping my you bought the cheapest damn toilet in the world with its non-standard toilet seat for munchins) but i measured it and it's nearly 2 inches too big for this toilet.

He looks at me as if I'm crazy then says I'll try it. He looks at the toilet then back at me 'tomorrow, i forgot my tools.'

Um you came here with the toilet seat but NOT your tools? You ARE a tool. What do you need I ask since i am well supplied in tools. Noticing that Coco has been beaten up by Roy and is now cowering in the bathroom, i get the screw drivers.

LL gets the toilet seat off, RIPS the box on the new one to shreds instead of waiting for me to cut the tape only to find out the toilet seat is TOO BIG. Well no duh, I can measure, kinda important in surgery and all but what do I know? He says he'll go back to Jerry's Do It centre and get another one tomorrow and leaves. Meanwhile the broken toilet seat is just lying on the floor.

I slam that back in place and toss myself on the bed thinking this is why I'm NOT zen.

Not sure who noticed my other challenge but this one is a bit more attuned to fanfic, okay one fandom. This challenge is for my Fullmetal Alchemist friends. Use this picture as your jumping off point. I want to see how closely/ far apart our minds work.

How did he get up there? What happens next? Whatever you'd like to do with this picture. Have fun

and thanks to evil_little_dog for uploading this since i couldn't via dial up