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creative process

And I just came across this and boy does it sum up how I feel. Last night I nearly deleted Soldiers of the Sun. I knew it would be rough. It was a nano novel after all. But I thought it was good. I thought it was solid. I really thought I'd have it out of here by now and be waiting on a contract.

And now as I go over it, it's like crap. And it's all related to the sexual content. Now it is erotica. But I'm afraid it's reading more like porn. I wanted to illustrate that Temple is using sex as a crutch and is spiralling down, out of control.

I'm not sure it reads that way. I know it reads without emotion. And in some ways all the sexual forays make it choppy. And I'm stuck for ways to fix it.

Do I delete most of the sex scenes entirely?

Do I try to give them more emotional content (something I admittedly am not good at)?

Do I keep them but do more fade to blacks except for the more pertinent ones?

Would shoving in more action scenes help or take away from the main plot even more? And what kind of action scenes? I can't make too much of the main enemy because he's the finale. Other than that it's nothing but a bunch of human thugs? Do I jam in more random demons? I've done that at least twice already?

Do I just delete the whole thing as a piece of crap?

I know it's really not. I know it can be saved if I can figure out how.

It has two sets of eyes on it. It probably needs more but that is easier said than done.

Wish I knew what to do.

Date: 2014-05-27 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silvrethorn.livejournal.com
My writers' group has been slacking off of late, so if you want to send me the manuscript, I can eyeball it for plot problems. And if you're amenable, I can run it by my friend Laurel, who is blessed with a natural talent for emotional writing. She's very good at suggesting where and how to ramp up the emotional content, so you might find her input helpful.

Date: 2014-05-27 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
thanks. I can do that. I've only been over it up to ch 14. I think I will fix the name issues with the bad guys first.

If you think that threeway sex between men won't bother her, that would be fine.

Date: 2014-05-27 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silvrethorn.livejournal.com
I'll ask Laurel if she minds reading erotica. If she objects, I can send her the non-sex bits and see what character-building suggestions she might have. Hopefully she can provide insights on your characters that could help you over some of the hurdles you've faced in fleshing them out. She has an intuitive character sense that's been very helpful to our group.

Date: 2014-05-28 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
that would be helpful. Thank you.

Another issue is the 30's slang. I didn't make much effort with it in the first three in the series because of the short deadlines and the research needed. I wanted a bit more than I have now but not so much that it sounds like a bad P.I. Noir

Date: 2014-05-28 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silvrethorn.livejournal.com
I'll see what I can do about the historical flavor. I have major resources for that period, so hopefully I can make suggestions to beef up the sense of the time (the sense of place I'll leave to you, since I've never been to Pittsburgh).

Date: 2014-05-28 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
The Pittsburgh aspect is well researched. I'd appreciate any help you can give me. I just made more work for myself than i realized in doing a name change...

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